Every click of My Pictures folder, every hit of Play button of WMP, every Korean song I play-- are the shards that keep my gaping wound open and as fresh as the first day that everything that has been had been...
Since I've been back from Korea, I found it very hard to move on. I'm now inflicted with a chronic laziness that my thesis had been stalled for two months; I've never produced anything that amounts greater than a bug's fart. The stasis has been formed and it's where I'm living now. I think what's more serious is that I am participating in my self incarceration. I know that if I stay inside for long, I'll just rot inside with the memories and friendships I cherish. And these fragments of life had already given me a hell load of joy and lessons learned; they have done their purpose. They are now expired. Should I stay longer, I'll expire too..And clearly, doing that is committing intellectual and interpersonal suicide. So starting tomorrow, I'd start moving in for the kill. I'll work for my future, leave the stasis behind in my growing museum for memories.
My wound will not close, for I will never permit it to.
The certain throbbing sensation will forever remind me that I have lived once in a way that I never will live again...
1 comments:
I really really really really love this post. I made my friends read it too. It really reminds me of how I felt after graduation T T and it's nicely written.. just like a poetic prose.
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