Thursday, March 13, 2008

Reliving the Moments (Kimchi Pot Chronicles #2)

I always think that the human mind is so frail that keeping a memory with much detail is impossible. You probably know that even if you swear by all the saints that you won't miss, you won't forget, slowly but surely, everything will just float away. The distinct affinity you had with the people, the emotions you've shared, the pictures of places you've been, everything. A memory is but an ember constantly threatened by gusts of change, of laziness, of indifference. I guess we can only handle a handful of memories.

Can you fix this in your mind's eye? The beauty is so elusive that even freezing it in time with my Sony didn't work. It's MT. Geumgang in North Korea btw. ^^; And I'm not going to throw the shoes I wore in hiking this mountain!


Today before I sleep (I slept past 12mn) I tried to relieve everything that has happened. March 14 is the beginning of my start. I tried to reconstruct every dialogue with Tanya in NAIAirport and the mixed emotions while waiting and boarding the plane. It was like self-hypnosis. And I never thought that I'm good at it. I felt a real surge of excitement and wonder while under the state of reliving with my past self answering the questions: "What kind of life would be waiting for me there?" "I'm spending 10 months there. Would I survive? Would I just stay for 1 semester?" "My friends whom I left behind, would we still be us when I get back?". Thinking about those things made my stomach churn back to reality. I'm lying on my bed, March 14, 2008 not 2007.

My feeble attempts to time travel did give me a very cathartic experience. I felt good that I found myself typing this the time I woke up. Tonight, I'll try to continue my journey back.

2 comments:

leia said...

Memory is a tricky, tricky thing.

May sinabi si CS Lewis about memory. Hanapin ko then post ko as comment haha =D

g said...

don't worry, we all had it the same, it's THE March 14, not some other March 14 of any other yearsTT