When I was studying the dynamics of migration, I completely felt disdain towards the concept of brain-drain. I told myself, especially after watching in awe the Serve the People banner unfurl from atop the DL Umali Hall in UPLB, that I would work in the Philippines for a year or two.
I was a romantic idealist. I could have gone up to the mountains.
But the acid of an empty gut corrodes even the most pachydermous stomach lining. I want my brain drained.
It is my personal ulcer.
Don't think that I'm happy prostituting myself at the intellectual level.
For me, belonging to this nation is more than just a symbolic drama ; it is both an imagined and real phenomenon that I want to actualize.
Should I stay and endure the throbbing sore? I might. If only somehow I could purchase an anesthesia, for I had given up looking for a cure so long ago...
----------UPDATE------------
Amicus, in his comment, invoked the most piercing lines from Panatang Makabayan:
Ako'y kanyang kinukupkop at tinutulungan upang maging malakas, maligaya at kapaki-pakinabang
Paglilingkuran ko ang aking bayan nang walang pag-iimbot at nang buong katapatan
Yes. I will pay my country back. Kahit na kung bibigyan mo ng pagkakataon ang bayan na hindi ka pagaralin sa UP sa ilalim ng subsidiya ng pamahalaan...Ang salitang "kinukupkop" dito ay nangangahulugang taimtim na pagnanasang pagyamanin at linangin ang kakayanan ng isang Pilpino. Ngunit siya nga ba ang nangyayari?
