Saturday, April 19, 2008

Fermented for 21 Years...and Still Fermenting

I have been living for 21 virgin, untouched, carnally unassailable, years on wanton grounds called Earth. Feeling love, in terms very well known by many, towards anyone has never been and never was...but I do wish it would crash down on me like a giant meteor that extinguished the dinosaurs, but that will serve to blast into smithereens the gigantic cardiac iceberg that has long been the reason for my emotional hypothermia.

If, given the erotically favorable circumstance, I was able to break free from the shackles of physical isolation towards L-O-V-E, would I find someone that could read it for me perfectly? I can just only spell, but hearing and feeling the perfect articulation from that dear-someone-else can make all the difference to me for all of heaven knows.

Now this is where it gets complicated--I wanted perfect articulation. I guess that's why until now I am still single--the last sabertooth among the more agile, actively reproducing, voraciously "meat-eating", tigers of the modern world.

I know, you wouldn't care much about all my blabber here, coated with lexical aphorisms, euphemisms and charms. So to end my first-rate classified grievance, I will tell you my perfect solution (and now herein comes once again the problem).

I wanted to create a person whose personality I made myself--whose abilities, interests, intellectual capacity, and most importantly, the level of sensitivity, I've decided on that person's behalf. A designer lover, that's as close as I can approximate the entity that could shed light on my life lived behind the eclipse of unfortunate solitude. I am not trying to be controlling. Manipulation is the last thing that I wanted to do. I don't want someone loving me because there are strings attached. Like everyone else, I guess, the idea that love should be desired and willful is also what I desirously want to believe in. So to reconcile making a designer lover--or a dreamlover I should say-- and at the same time not playing god, I would like to forget that I designed the person's being after all--forgetting through MIB's special pen-red light effect, or with Harry Potter's wand, whichever, whatever.

With this, I absolve myself from accusatory remarks, especially those that might come from myself that could painfully nag at my love-worthiness forever.



Anonymous said...

Wow I love how you write. The expressions used were awesome! Although I can't really relate with what you've written as I'm not yet in that stage, but I understood your point and I'm in awe as I read your so called blabber O_O

sollee said...

You are a brilliant writer...
and you talk about know that love can be felt by anyone,young or old, rich or poor, and anywhere even in the most unexpected place and the darkest place on earth...some people think that you have to experience love with someone special to understand its meaning...well i think that you have given love its true meaning when you learn to give yourself unselfishly to other people..that is love...

LoUraiNe said...

hi elliot saw ur comment on rice.. im hoping for his good too.. (",) got u tagged at my page.. anchored name: elliot.. check it out.. take care

Anonymous said...

I would like to be able to design a perfect partner for myself as well. It's better to handle someone predictable. And with a custom-made lover, at least you know that he/she won't leave you and/or hurt you.

I enjoyed reading your blog! Haha! :)

Raine said...

WOW! that is all I can say... You are a brilliant writer.. I hope you find the love that you are looking for.. :)

sollee said...

Hey I find it hard to add your link on my site but i'll try it again this afternoon..i really like your blog...(:

Anonymous said...

Hey man, thanks for the visit!

Your blog is cool as well, and you are a terrific writer.

moises said...

nice site bro! :-)
keep it up!
c u saturday!

Anonymous said...

You can influence your interaction with a date by being more natural and at ease. Don't try to be Mr. Cool. Why try so hard to impress them by pretending to be someone else?

If you're completely natural, you will settle in with the perfect partner. Abrasive partners will fall away or settle for being friends only.

A lot of people have an hard outer exterior and waste away precious years in the dating scene, sometimes ending up in an abrasive relationship.

If people cast away the courting mannerisms and silly associations our society has imposed, they immediately remove their personal barricade and become true to themselves.

A great partner is one who accepts you at your lowest, looks past faults, and even grows fond of annoying habits.

Anonymous said...

To high for me to reach!

Reeti said...

I love your blog...have blogrolled you to mine

it's,just in case you want to have a look!