In Return.

안녕하세요 한국 사람들! 저는 엘리엇이예요. 전 10개 월 동안 한국에 살았어요. 대한민국에 교환학생이었어요. 그 곳에 살 때는 모든 한국 사람들이 저에게 너무 작해서 고마웠어요.
지금 단순한 방법을 생겼는데... 학생들의 수필을 무료로 시정할 거에요. 그냥 여기로 연락해요.
이것으로 감사를 나타내는 제 방법이에요.

제 대학교: 대전 대학교 Daejeon University
전공: 사회학, 통계학 , 영어
장학금 인정하는 설립 : 아세안 ASEAN University Network

Fermented for 21 Years...and Still Fermenting

I have been living for 21 virgin, untouched, carnally unassailable, years on wanton grounds called Earth. Feeling love, in terms very well known by many, towards anyone has never been and never was...but I do wish it would crash down on me like a giant meteor that extinguished the dinosaurs, but that will serve to blast into smithereens the gigantic cardiac iceberg that has long been the reason for my emotional hypothermia.

If, given the erotically favorable circumstance, I was able to break free from the shackles of physical isolation towards L-O-V-E, would I find someone that could read it for me perfectly? I can just only spell, but hearing and feeling the perfect articulation from that dear-someone-else can make all the difference to me for all of heaven knows.

Now this is where it gets complicated--I wanted perfect articulation. I guess that's why until now I am still single--the last sabertooth among the more agile, actively reproducing, voraciously "meat-eating", tigers of the modern world.

I know, you wouldn't care much about all my blabber here, coated with lexical aphorisms, euphemisms and charms. So to end my first-rate classified grievance, I will tell you my perfect solution (and now herein comes once again the problem).

I wanted to create a person whose personality I made myself--whose abilities, interests, intellectual capacity, and most importantly, the level of sensitivity, I've decided on that person's behalf. A designer lover, that's as close as I can approximate the entity that could shed light on my life lived behind the eclipse of unfortunate solitude. I am not trying to be controlling. Manipulation is the last thing that I wanted to do. I don't want someone loving me because there are strings attached. Like everyone else, I guess, the idea that love should be desired and willful is also what I desirously want to believe in. So to reconcile making a designer lover--or a dreamlover I should say-- and at the same time not playing god, I would like to forget that I designed the person's being after all--forgetting through MIB's special pen-red light effect, or with Harry Potter's wand, whichever, whatever.

With this, I absolve myself from accusatory remarks, especially those that might come from myself that could painfully nag at my love-worthiness forever.

Perfect!

It's a mall! It's a condo! No, It's a dorm!

It was more than what I expected. I thought I
was looking at some sci-fi construction engineered for space. The exterior of Daejeon U (대전 대학교 기숙사) dormitory was really flabbergasting, especially for someone who grew up seeing the not-so-new dorms in UP (the glory of euphemisms). Equally desirable and suicide deterring is the interior, which looks like what you'd imagine belongs to a space research center--walls painted in unadulterated white (what vandalisms?), glass window slides protected by a thin, grey, molded layer of steel with holes punched symmetrically throughout, and cylindrical pillars equally distanced from each other lining the dormitory corridors. I guess I've given too much praise, or perhaps it was just natural for me to appreciate what is indeed appreciable.

Now let's go to our room 3rd floor Room 303 Building B. Here, I'd just like to express my sincerest thanks to Daejeon University and ASEAN University Network for providing us with this totally furnished room-- TV, aircon, ondol (온돌 Korean style heating system), desks, bed, fridge, phone, PC, and the ever useful microwave oven. I never had been in want, not even for a day. 대전 대학교과 아세안 우리를 돌봐서 정말 감사합니다. (pic on the left) You can see Joe from Laos (standing, lives in 302 with Randy from China) and my Malaysian roommate Ken. The room is quite big and it can easily accommodate two persons more. I just miss this room--my bed, the pink quilt and the comforter with pattern of falling autumn leaves...and oh yeah, the green post-its that you can see there are actually Korean letters I posted in random order during the 2nd week,so I could train myself to read Hangeul with just one glance. It served me so well that I learned to read Hangeul in just 2 weeks.

I think I'd be a poltergeist of this room should I die now. God forbid! hahaha.

Bed. My bed. I'm itching to write a poem for you. But now I really have to hit the sack. T__T

The First Laugh

There really was nothing academic to do during the first two weeks or so in Daejeon University. It was a period dedicated to building relationships that were physically lost when we got transplanted to the Land of Kimchi. Of course, thriving is a matter of suave diplomacy, and you really need to extract every ounce of this skill to reestablish yourself inside a working social network.

I decided to break the first block of ice. It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would. I just used some help from Photoshop, whose capability was not fully exploited as you can see (I could have very well used paint instead to dabble some blood here and scatter some of Gjah's heads there.) The girl wearing a veil is Siti. She's an adorably humble girl from Malaysia. Gorging with her some heads is Jeryang Kim, who was the first Korean person I've ever spoken with; he accompanied me and Tanya from Incheon Airport to DJU-- a 3 hour highway drive where all I saw were unfathomable characters (they turn out to be Hangeul) and Christian crosses protruding from atop churchs' roofs. Anyhow, Jeriyang...I can still remember him holding a bond paper with "DJU" printed on it in black; it wasn't difficult to spot amidst the crowd since he's tall. That picture with murderously funny intent was uploaded to ASEAN 2007 YahooGroups for everyone to see. But Gjah from Malaysia retaliated with an even more hilarious picture:


We raised the first duel of the sexes with these images--ASEAN Guys (3 valiant virgos) versus ASEAN Girls (14 vicious viragoes).

Being a certified man-killer, Gjah was able to turn the tables from Siti being the laughing stock to us becoming transgendered. We even laughed our lungs out seeing this. Talking of utter defeat.

Hmm...So this is what I look like if I'm a woman. Ugly. Bleh!



Here was the first laugh. It shall resonate till all my neural connections snap off.

There's a Time for Everything

Shedding of the old, blossoming of the new--a painful law governing everything, and I've just gotten a good reality bite from it last March 27 when the new delegation of ASEAN scholars arrived in Korea.

Last year, the stars were ASEAN 2007. We were given attention overflowing, tours abounding--and to be concisely precise, life was happy. I could hardly ask for more. That was 10 months of living in a fantasy that has an implicit promise to never end. Yet came December 27. Time to go back. I can clearly see the 'fin' slowly being inscribed on my fantasy book. At Incheon, I knew that I'm not in Korea anymore; I have to leave the life, the routine, the friends I've known for 10 months. And I have to endure everyday the struggle of Trying to Remember.

As my favorite verse in the Bible, in Corinthians I, says: There's a time for everything. My time has come to a close and I have to give a chance, or appreciate at the least, the sprouting leaves. In my heart of hearts, however, when I learned that ASEAN 2008 would be flying to Korea, replacing our history, overwriting our footprints, I felt a brief surge of envy that the thought of crashing their plane was deviously possible. Of course this has been resolved almost at the same time I thought of it. I'm going to bomb their plane.

Not! Anyhow, I present to you my juniors. 20 ASEAN scholars, 20 more torch carriers for the future of Asian cooperation, 20 souls that could make an impact in the region, 20 new students who are leaders in the making. I am very proud of you. By the way, the Philippine representative is 6th from the left, rear. Mabuhay!

It would be a disservice if I don't include our batch photo!!! [Okay. I've yet to look for a good one! haha]

Not at All (Kimchi Pot Chronicles #3)

March 31, 2008

Professor Ahn Song Ho (안성호 교수님) will arrive in the Philippines together with his wife, Ms. Sunny. He will stay here for 6 months to conduct a research on federalism and decentralization in the context of South East Asian countries. Prof Ahn is my Professor in East Asian Cooperation class, spring semester, while I was in Dajeon University (대전 대학교) last year.

Today was very eventful. Tanya and Lee, my fellow scholars under the ASEAN exchange student program, went with me to the airport to pick up the guests. Thankfully Tanya has a van with air conditioning working fine. I think the Koreans won't be able to stand the hellish heat, not to mention the smoke and dust, that they'll encounter traversing NAIA to UP Diliman.
We ate in Gerry's Grill for lunch. Of course we offered them Filipino foods like Sinigang (it was blockbuster), Sisig, Chopsuey, ripe mango juice and buko juice in buko fruit. We then reserved a unit in Diliman for them to stay. Then I went to work, taught four Koreans English. Work ended at 11:00pm, Philippine time.

Today reminds me that the ember still lives...the fragments are falling into place. They're not lost nor forgotten. Not at all.

Droppings #1 Love Behind Me

You can only know if you have felt true love towards a person if you don't fall out of love. It's an expensive answer that can only be purchased at the collapse of the love transaction--and by that time you could have already been cheated and unfairly treated. The catch is there is no such thing as a safety net when 'love' went awry. You fall in, you're dead; you fall out, you're dead. 비슷하다!
그럼...I'm writing about the kernel of humanity's corniness because of some past encounter with a love bug. Not so long ago I have felt that I really liked someone--"liked" meaning that I have considered spending my lifetime with that person--until it just faded. (I won't give much details but I'm sure we'll be on the same boat after reading the next paragraph:) Now whenever I think back of how I used to like that organism, I just say to myself: "The heck were you thinking back then~! You damn crazy fella!" with a matching Quiver of Eww and some pore dilating goosebumps. So I guess what I thought was true love wasn't so true after all. True love just exists in hindsight, and if you're lucid enough, one of the few realizations on your deathbed, that you had not fallen out of love.